After separation, we have parents asking us that very question.
We thought it would be helpful to set out some of the initial stages and outcomes for parents who have separated and don’t know where to start with putting in place some arrangements for the children.
Separation often throws up a whole range of “unknowns”. This doesn’t simply relate to parenting issues, there’s usually upheaval and uncertainty about everything from paying the phone bill to what do we do with the house. For parents who have been through a separation or divorce before, we often hear “I’ve never done this before, I don’t know what happens next?” That’s okay, you aren’t meant to already know the answer to that. You ask a lawyer…
What should I do first?
Talk to the other parent. You both know your children, and what’s best for them, more than anyone else.
This can be sitting down with the other parent over the kitchen table.
If you don’t feel able to do that right now, a lawyer can help to start making some proposals for the arrangements for the children.
You can also engage a mediator to contact the other parent and arrange a mediation session.
What do we need to talk about?
We start by discussing topics such as;
How major parenting decisions are made (i.e. by both of you or one only). In legal terms, this is ‘Parental Responsibility’.
If the children live with both parents equally, or if they live mostly with one parent, then what time they spend with the other parent
Communication with the children, for example, when and how telephone or video calls should take place
How special occasions should be spent, such as birthdays, religious holidays or Mother’s and Father’s Days.
How communication between the parents, and between the parents and other parents, should occur
When overseas travel and how passport applications are dealt with
This is not an exhaustive list, but should give you an idea about what goes into a parenting agreement.
Should we record the agreement we reached?
Yes. You’re should both clear about what’s happening and when.
Parenting Plans
Parents can have a more formal documentation, called a Parenting Plan. This would typically cover the living arrangements as well as other parenting issues which may arise in great detail.
This is still an agreement between the parents, which can be varied or terminated by either parent at any time.
Parenting Order or Consent Order
There is a process available to parents to apply for Court Orders about their children which reflect the agreement that they have reached. The process involves making an Application for Consent Order, typically to the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia.
The Court does not require you to attend a hearing or be in Court. This process takes place on paperwork only. If the Judge reading your documents considers that the proposed Order is in the best interest of your children or children, then the Order you sought can be approved by the Court. It will still be just as binding and enforceable as any other Court Order.
This is a final Order. It can only be varied by agreement between the parents.
What if we can't reach an agreement?
The Court requires parents to attempt to participate in Family Dispute Resolution, also commonly referred to as mediation, unless an exemption applies.
If you have not already done so, we can assist you to identify and engage a mediator. You don’t have to sit with the other parent during mediation.
If mediation is unsuccessful, then pre-action procedures or an application to Court may be necessary.
When do I need a lawyer?
We can assist you in the negotiation stages if you need that guidance or support.
We strongly recommend that when it comes to drawing up your parenting arrangements, particularly if you are applying for an Order, you call us to help you. We can ensure that your documents are correctly done and make clear what has been agreed.
If you are unable to reach agreement with the other parent, come in to see a lawyer about whether we can sort this out without resorting to litigation, or for advice about parenting litigation.
Call or contact us for a free chat or to book an Initial Consultation.
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